The world needs fathers. Study after study confirms the important role of the father in a family. Let’s improve your father-children relationship. Here are three quick and easy ways for Dads to relate better to their children.
1. Put down the distractions.
If you want to communicate better with your young kids, then learn to pay attention. Listening to a child while you channel surf, web surf or refrigerator surf is not really listening. Put down the remote or the mouse or close the ‘fridge door. Pay attention to what your child is saying. By the way, this rule changes a bit when your kids, especially your sons, are older. A great way to get your teens to talk is do a shared activity together. You’ll notice that I used the word “shared” in that sentence, right?
2. Look your child in the eye.
All the media your child is exposed to shares one thing in common: all of it has your child’s eyes and ears glued upon it. When you talk to your child, do you have their eye-contact? One of the greatest gifts we give to our children is looking them in the eye. Let them see you seeing them. Put down the storybook and tell them a story. Involve them in the tale. Advertisers are not hesitant to look your kids in the eye. You should do no less.
3. Make your child’s needs the priority.
As more and more dads, thankfully, become much more active in parenting, I read more about fathers who do not like kiddie things. I have read several posts, for example, about how some stay-at-home dads don’t like kid’s music and wish to substitute rock artists for kids musicians.
Although some of these daddy-blogger posts are written tongue-in-cheek, there is an underlying issue: kid things are not designed for dads. They are designed for kids. Don’t be in a hurry to bypass the usefulness of all the kiddie toys and noise that is out there.
The “Wheels On The Bus” song is driving you crazy? Let it make you crazy and let your kids listen to it a hundred times a day if they want. Raising four kids in our house, I can assure you that this phase doesn’t last long. Very soon, you’ll be dealing with the wheels on the car which is under your teen’s control as it is driven from your home.
The repetition of songs and stories is important for your child’s development and even future skills for learning and school. Be focused on what your kids need, not what you want.
In reality, all three of these ideas are really expressing the same need: Dads, give your kids the gift of your attention. You don’t need to be father of the year. You need to be the best daddy you can to your kids.
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Sean Buvala, father of four and a professional storyteller, is the author of the book “DaddyTeller™: Be a Hero to Your Kids and Teach Them What’s Really Important by Telling Them One Simple Story at a Time.” Get your copy by visiting http://www.daddyteller.com.
